I'm emotionally unstable now at this point. I've so many things i wanna say but i can't. There are things i want to say to different ppl but i can't. I want to say my 真心话 also cannot. I think i better stop watching all those taiwan idol shows anymore esp those romance one or else i might break down sooner or later.
Why am I so weak now??? I really question myself. I use to be able to hide certain feelings but now i can't. I always have this 冲动 to say my 真心话. Isit coz i'm getting older or I'm getting naive??? I juz deleted one whole lot of stuff i wanted to say . guess its not really suitable to put it up. This question is like going throught my mind now. Am i really a nobody in other ppl eyes?? No one really bother to remember wat i say or wat they promise me. I always keep my promises to ppl but why other always treat me like a joke!!! Isit really so hard to just inform me?? Or isit i project myself as the dun care kind of person, a strong person who can deal every problem myself. After living 20 years ++ i'm now starting to haf a identity crisis. I'm now holding up so many information, so many emotions that i really want to unleash it. These few years of problem is weighing me down too much already.
When i wanna tok to someone bout something happy or wat just to relax, when i look around, there is no one that i can really tok to. Everyone around me seem to have found someone they can tok to, share with but i haben. I just haben found someone in klass that share my same interest or me sharing the same interest as others. I guess i never will. Guess it will be a lonely 3 years. I'm not really tokking anymore already in klass. Just dun have the urge to open up anymore. I dun want to put up all those pretenious laughter or smiles anymore.
I'm really tired.....................
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