mind in confusion

Damn!!! my mind is now in a 'wat to do' state. Went to see my lecture mentor bout the physiotherapy course. Okay so its die also need A level to get in. I'm now having a mix feelings. At one point i wana finish my nursing course since i've already started it at the other point i dunno where should i continue after getting my diploma. Should i take the A level as a private student anot. THis means i have to study for both "A" and dip. I question myself if can i really handle both anot coz i dun wanna be disappointed again. I've already wasted 2 yrs of my life and i dun wanna waste it anymore.

HOnestly i dunn if i can cope. My nursing now average scores are Bs only than if i take the 'A' would my grades drop that i in the end fail both. Really duno wat to do. Looking at another point, if i forget all bout the physio thingie and concentrate on my nursing, where can i go after that. JUst read on SIM webbie that their part time degree course is 2 yrs and somemore is need to haf at least bout 1-2 yrs experience than take you in. So i guess it leaves with me going to NUS for the degree course is more worth it. but i haben read the crititra such yet so dunno if they take in freash grad in diploma.

Thought of being a paramedic but after u join the civil denfence, u will haf to go through a 2.5yrs course thought u get paid while doing it i think. Though this job is really challenging but i wonder if i can really cope with it anot. But beside being a paramedic i dun really know wat else i can do coz i not really interested in working in a ward. Its not as appealing as being a paramedic. Wat other jobs can i hold that is associated with nursing??? Teaching?? not really my cup of tea. Or should i change course when i enter uni??? There is a few courses that accepts all diplomas but they are mostly the studey of languages or behaviour science. And that means it links back to being in the teaching profession.

Another way of me being able to study physio is going overseas coz they haf a foundation course which one can do before starting the degree course but all these need money and now i cannot afford such thing though its said by my fren that you can study and work part time as a nurse. Overseas pays alot but i still cannot afford the sch fees there and accomodations and stuff. This is the time how i wish a million dollars would be bestow on me. I not greedy, a million bucks would do.

I guess i'm feeling this way coz my little hope of being a physiotherapist has been broken and i dunno wat to do already. The main idea of me joining nursing is so that there is a stepping stone for me to make a head start but guess it does not work that way coz its reality we are tokking esp in singapore. Paper qualification is still very important. Only with gd grades can it get you to where you wanna be.

Thinking back, ppl in m klass all joined nursing coz they wanna be a nurse. They haf a goal that they want but my goal is different from them rite from the start. I guess this is where i lose out to them. Yeah i may get better grades than some of them but at least they are happy with wat they are doing but as for me everything is i'm okay doing it only. The passion is not there.

During the talk, my lecturer also told me that ppl's piorities do changes as one gets older. After that he started to tok funny. Saying that when i reach 24, 25 i would wanna get marry. haf a family and stuff and i was like OMG!!! I wanted to rebuke him saying as if anyone wants me HAHA!!! he was hurting my sore point man!!!

Should i just give up on being a physio and continue being a nurse or should i take the risk by taking the 'A' level?????