Last day of 2005!!!

OKay i juz read back wat i wrote in my previous entry and i was like 'OMG wat the hack was i blahhing about?????' All those whinning and stuff phew!!!!

Ok wat did i do this whole 1 year. In Jan, Feb and March, i was busy writing letters (which applies to apeal letters too) to apply to study phsiotherapy. At the same time i opt to go study nursing too thinking that if i cannot get into physio than at least i haf a back up. Well studying nursing can also be my stepping stone into studying phsio. Beside settling my education stuff i also went to take driving lessons. In March alone i completed bout 4/5 of whole course coz i almost everyday also go for lessons. HOwever only in Nov did i get my driving license after failing for 2 times. finally pass in the 3rd attempt.

April was the beginning of the nursing course which meant my apeal failed. sad sia!!! Anyway during orientation there was tis gal who walk towards me and asked if where we were waiting is the venue for the orientation. Well its fated coz later i got to know her in my 1st attachment. drum roll..................... ying ying is the gal i was tokking about. haha

So after that nothing much happen in the later part of the year except for cat fights in my klass, ppl trying to test my limit of tolerance etc. So drama sia!!!!!!!!!! Beside that i sign up for CSC and tennis so is like very sat go for tenis thats why so dark and tan liao haha!!! and also went for volunteer work like going to old folks home and help out in the BDD ( blood donation drive). Thought not much but its a start to wat i wanna do.

Well wat i can say the best part of tis year was attachment. Wirking in the hospital is so diff from wat we read from books, learn from books, watch from tv shows. From the attachment i learned more bout myself being able to do all those stuff that i thought i could not do. I even face difficulties cause by unreasonable patient. I was really upset with wat he did, badmouthing me infront of everybody just because he was in a bad mood when i go take his readings. Really suppress alot of feelings at that time till my lecturer came to tok to me.

Really glad my lecturer and the ward sister whom my lecturer tok to regaring the incident din blame me and understand the situation. I was told not to take it too harshly coz this kind of things do happen and just haf to take it easy. Te only gd thing that came out from this incident was that next time i wun be so piss off by such things already coz got experience liao hahaha!!!
MOst importantly is i do my job well and rite than there is no chance for other to blame me or try to harm me coz i din everything my rules and regulations and am answerable to myself.

Last thing bout the attachment was of course the new frens i made. Actually its nice making new frens than when all free, all can go out and just chill out haha!!!

This year also nothing happening. The diff this yr from other yrs is that i went to sing K with frens. this is something i never do in previous yrs. All this must thank Lin Jun Jie. you know why????????? coz his album gave free voucher to sing at K so dun waste haha. thats when i started going to K box. Wahaha wat a lame reason !!!!!!!! Actually i like to sing but i can only sing quite ok when alone. even i know the song and tune but if got toher ppl i tend to just sing out of tune somehow. haha some kind of weird phobia.

The last thing that happen to moi in tis yr would be me liking this guy bah. HAHA!!!!!!!! Sound so werid. First time really liking someone. BAd part is that he has someone he like already and of course my Zi Bei Gan plays a part too haha!!! I can face everything bravely and stuff but when it comes to this kind of thingie, my Zi Bei Gan super powerful. No confidence like shit!!!! HAHA!!!!!!!! Gan Qing Ze Zhong Shi Hai Zhen Fan Leh!!!!

Guess this last day of 2005 would be spending it like any other day liao coz outside would be too crowded for me to go watch the fireworks. I really wanna go watch fireworks. So big liao but never once seen fireworks live only on tv. haiz........ Even if wanna go despite the crowds, no one also want to go with moi.

Siging off by lonely gal with a lonely heart with a tear to say good bye to 2005..........


P.S i'm really getting very crappy and emotional and ..................... i also dunno

Late in the nite.........

Wah just finish my english essay. Guess wat. I found out the content that i've wrote is out of point so i had to rewrite it. WTH..... i somemore was almost done with it. ARGGGGG!!!!! Qi Si Wo LE!!!!!!!!!! but i finsh it already finally !!!!!!!! juz found out that i now haf developed a habit of sleeping at 7pm sharp. just before dinner haha. these few days my mum always haf to wake me up for dinner. the best part is that i alwasy fall asleep in this senario....... my laptop on with music playing away and light on. I would always be sleeping on my little pillow instead of my normal pillow.

Waa juz surfing around and found this info in the forum. Dear frens born in 1985 like moi pls take note....


Oxz in 2006 the only star that is protecting ox this yr is the moon.. moon favoured woman..thus this yr ox ladies would hv better luck than the man... ox ppl have to beware of law suite, xiao ren career failure... they r about 7 bad stars affecting ox ppl.. they also fan bian chng tai shui..haiz..causing luck to fall till rock bottom.. so remember to pai tai shui ya..n remember to take vegeterian on the 15th of the lunar month.

1985> they might b a lot of changes happening this yr... its better to stay calm n avoid such changes... its beeter not to hv any form of investment be is financially or emotionally..cause the result would not b good.

Argggggg cannot invest financially or emotionally so sad sia!!!! must be as cold and solid as ice liao coz cannot invest emotionally or else will back fired haha!!! well actually it does not matter to me at all coz whether isit a gd or bad year, it does not make a diff at all. LIfe has been so dull and erm.......... cannot find the word to describe wat i wana say now so watever. haha!!!

Actually wanna say my life as always been the same all these years. Every year is like so routine. watever i do is alwasy the same and with the same people. Festive season spent it with the same people or by myself. Birthday i also only spent with family. Go out leh i most of the time go out alone. Watch move always alone and harry potter is with my mum for all episodes okay. Its been like that since i think the say i was in pri sch bah. NOt that i wanna complain though at least i still haf my family but sometimes i need a change too but got no one to call out coz all not free or ppl i wanna call out i dun dare to ask them out for the fear of rejections haiz. Those ppl that are free i dun like to hang out with them coz to me they are just so faked and pathentic ( well in my opinion).

Guess my life as been really pathentic and lifeless!!!! Now i guess all i can do is to wait for a miracle to happen on me!!!! WAHAHA!!!!!!! if my life can be as little interesting as this character in this show 'my name is kim sam soon' that would be nice ( excluding the part that she sign some contract to be the guy 'gf' for money to prevent her house from being taken away by debtors her dead dad owe) though are are a few up and downs haha well life ain't smooth sailing. oh this show arh i buy the vcd liao than that stupid SCV advertise that they are goin to show it next year!!!!!!! ARHHHHHHH QI SI WO LE!!!!!! waste my money. This tell me not to buy shows that has high rating coz SCV will show it one. All i have to do is wait!!!!!!!!!!

Guess juz now wrote too much in my essay so now down here blahing away. cannot slp so is like this hahaha!!!!!! i guess blogging is a gd way for me to just write off my feeling away to make moi feel better!!!!!!!!! BTW will be changing background music again so remb to come back to listen to it. haha!!!!!!!!!

out out out...........

Today finally got my butt out of the house to go buy my shoes for attachment. Well actually yesterday was already out for half a day to go take my hep B injection at the polyclinic. Wasted most of my time waiting. All because i lost my paper to prove that i've taken the 1st and 2nd dose. This resulted in travelling to and fro from jurong and bukit batok and wasted 6 bucks coz that stupid prove need to buy one haiz.......... Guess wat......... polyclinic is not as cheap its suppose to be. The stupid injection cost me 25 bucks!!!!!!!! and at SATA it only cost 15 bucks. A $10 diff. wat the hack!!!!! Polyclinic is suppose to be real cheap so that poor ppl like me can afford to go to see the doctors. Guess next time when it comes to vaccines i would go to SATA instead and pls god dun ever let them be out of stock for drugs!!!!

Today finally got my shoes and boy its kinda Ex. It costed 59 bucks and its upper part is made out of leather. guess thats why its ex and its already on sale. Well hope this pair can last or else wasted coz its so Ex!!!!!!

Today i also bought a small little pillow that babies used one for sch. now when sleeping in the library got pillow to sleep on and when wake up wun haf those lines print on my face haha. Dun know baby stuff would cost so much. just a small pillow can haf a range of $5-$10. all the same wat dunno why so ex. of course i bought the cheapest one and it was also the last one. Anyway today was quite a fruitful day. AH!!! din buy the clothes i wanted to buy coz it look diff from the pictures i saw. After seeing it wif my own eyes, the clothes just din suit me and it was not very practical for me to wear to sch coz it would be too hot to wear in. double layer and somemore its long sleves. thought i stay in air con room for a long period of time but how bout when i'm under the hot sun???? sure die of heat. today still can;t find the right shorts for tennis. all till knee lenght or else too small. haiz need to find one set of sports wear for tennis in my size or else my tan would look so weird. Actually i juz need a shorts would be slightly above my knee. mayb go sch see if they sell anot and got size.

Today on my way home i saw someone that look like joson but should not be him. That guy features really look like joson. i tink when he grows older, (not that he is not old enough haha) he would haf that guys looks bah. the more mature look haha!!!

So fast sch going to start soon and i'm only 3/10 done with my english essay and i haben finish doing my drug calculation worksheet yet for tutorial. these two days better finish it up.

signing off coz too long liao................

Christmas.......

Juz came back from my cousin place. Had christmas dinner but din really eat at all coz had turkey and stuff already on christmas eve and christmas day eat the same thing again so not very interested but the mango sorbet that my cousin bought was nice had two servings of those haha. Well me is a mango freak!!! anway recieved a few christmas presents and OMG almost all of them are chocolates. got some of my fav kind and one of my aunt who is now working in japan even DHL her chocolate presents over. WAH chocolates from japan. it looks nice but the 'weird' flavours it has is not my kind of taste haha. BEst of all, the kind that i like that has hazelnut cream in the choc, my dad got those so that means i can eat them coz my dad has too many pimples on his face so i guess he would be eating it haha.

So far thats bout it. next week need to go for hep B jab coz they ran out of stock so din get it done. do my english essay. was too lay to do it. Ermmmmmm wat else arh.......... buy shoes and some new clothes that i spoted haha i seem to be buying too many clothes liao this semester. next semester i think got to buy less liao.


Anyway Merry Christmas to all and Happy Boxing Day!!!!

memories coming back

Just saw my fren blog and come to know his grandmother passed away. After reading it memories just came flashing back. 4 yrs ago my grandmother also passed away and i would never ever forget that day. It was also the day i really start to hate that Raja. Coz of his stupid die also must go tutorial i would haf at least seen the last of my grandmother. I was already prepared to go to the hospital on that day than he suddenly drop the bomb that all must stay back for lessons.

Remembered ever since the funeral, i everynite cry myself to sleep for a few months. everytime alone doing nothing than will start to cry. was really sad. till i got to tell myself to snap out of it. Was really close to my grandmother. I could tell her anything under the sun. things that i dun even tell my mum i can tell her. After she was gone, i got no one to really tok to liao. Things that can't be said are all kept in a big corner of my heart. Thinking back it was really a hard time for me. In front of others haf to put on a false front as if i'm ok but actually i'm not. haiz.... that year when anyone tok bout grangmothers i would be like crying away. even that yr when taking O level oral one question was about grandparents, i was like tearing and answering the question. I muz had scared those testers.

Anyway hope my fren will take it easy as time do really heal all wounds but a scare would be there so as not to forget this special person that was once a part of our life.

nothing to look back..........

Today only had one hour of lecture that why now so early at home slacking. Next week is the start of my 2 weeks holiday so guess i have one whole list of things to do. Let me see......

1) Do my 1000 Word english essay.
2) Remb to go for my Hep B injection
3) CLean up my room
4) Do abit of revision
5) Go out, go Out and go out but no body call me out or fly my aeroplane :(
6) learn to play a song or 2 on the piano. ( hope my skills not too rusty)
7) Slp more and just stay in lala land coz dun feel there's any hope in this world liao haha
8) buy shoes for attachment

Guess thats bout it bah. THINGS TO DO LIST!!!

Well just recieve sms from shermeen that she cannot make it to tonite's dinner so Bengi and I cancel the whole thing and decide next week than go. Haiz Everytime i call them out than all last minute tell me cannot go. Never seems to at least once i call them out than all can come out. Everytime ppl fly my aeroplane. Haiz really wanna go out!!!!!!! Guess destine to be alone.

Last nite was watching tv than suddenly this thought juz flash across my mind. I practically haf no life at all. Everyday is such a routine since 3 yrs ago. 1st yr: work than go home, work than go home. 2nd yr: sch than home sch than home. 3rd yr(this yr): sch then home, sch than home. Nothing interesting has happen in my life, no miracle or surprise has ever happen to me. Its already the end of the year but i still leading a a so call 'floating life' bah. So far the only 'happening' thing that happen was my attachment but after that nothing. Such a sad case.

Everyone around me all got something happening around them. whether isit gd or bad but they haf something to focus on and look forward to. HOwever i dun seem to haf anything to look forward at all. well mayb only my exam results bah. wat a joke!!! 2 more weeks to 2006 liao, i hope something there is at least something in 2005 to remember.

Mental status: very very very tired

Holiday After Tomolo

Finally finish my last ica today . It has been hectic since bout 1 month ago as every week there is one ica and even 2 in one week so very stressful to only some extend. Well so far got back only 2 results out of 4 test. Clinical practical test passed and my Bio, the most impt module, well i pass this one too and its a B+. A gd improvement as compared to last term. Somemore my lecturer who was the one who set the paper said it was hard and most people would fail. What a scare i tell you when i heard this. Thanx god i pass.

Today ica was not too bad hope my group can at least can an A for it. I can finally have a good rest. Was very busy this week coz of all the last minute changes and practises and smsing of my grp members for meetings- All for this ICA. Its really tiring to be a leader coz everything you haf to oversee and do it yourself, make sure ur members are doing stuff too and somemore i haf very high expectations but i enjoy doing it. Well i guess i still like to be a leader. haha Really have to thank my grp members for tolerating me for being so long winded haha and for all of their hard work.

Well nothing much happen this week except for being woken up at around 3 something in the morning. Was really pissed off on that day coz i just slept bout an hour or so than the sms came. Worst of all, I could not go back to slp after that no matter how i try and try and try and i had morning lectures somemore. Best of all i kinda doze off in lecture and i tink my lecturer saw me but before she could do anything i woke up already haha lucky me. I guess if its another lecturer that i know i might haf die of embrassement already. Was pissed off but amused on that day when that sms came. Well my vocab very PTE so dunno wat other words to used than amuse to describe my feelings on that day. HAHA anyway wat a joke!!!!

This taught me to always slient my hp and expect for the unexpected.

///can't sleep////

Well well feeling tired but dunno why still cannot sleep. haiz alot of things going on in my mind guess thats why i'm still not in lala land. 8 more hours to go and i would be having my tennis lesson. Its been 3 weeks since i last played hope later on can still remember how to play haha!!

Thursday was a crazy nite. In the afternoon i went to see my lecturer to ask her take a look in my group's ica presentation to make sure we ain't side tracking. In the end we did side track so i had to like change almost the whole presentation information and format and fronts and pictures and background. But I'm kinda amazed wif myself for being able to finish it up last nite and it was of standard okay. Everything is now done and ready for next week's presentation. Settled stuff my group members had to say and things they had to memorize. Hope we can get a good grade for this module. I think after this module, my grp members might not wanna be in the same grp as me already esp Nazri haha coz he is the lazy one and i had to actually threaten him in a nice way to help him pull up his socks haha!! Looking back, i was like so nagging coz everytime sms them to remind them to come for meetings, asking them to do their part of the work and stuff. Well i may not be outspoken most of the time and juz keep quiet in klass but when it comes to project and esp if i'm in charge, i'm like a totally different person. The dommineering ( forget how to spell this word) me would come out and thats it. Demanding, do things must be of qaulity, everything must be in order, well plan, no nonsense and stuff. Guess this is the only time they will see the "BAD" side of me hahahahaha!! However in exchange for gd grades its worth it to bear with me ain't it haha!!

So many things going through my head now and things i'm curious with but dare not ask haha. Still thinking bout it and hoping for it but oh well things have to take its natural course.

Juz deleted so many episodes of naruto from my lappy and WOW my lappy now haf so much space to spare. Oh boy does it really takes up space.


Guess its time to try to slp now or else not energy to play tomolo. Can't wait!!!!! TENNIS!!!!!

The long awaited day...........

YEAH!!!! Today was the day of my horrible bioscience test and its over!!! So happy. One stressful module and i think i should be able to pass!!!

Event of the day was that i finally watch Harry Potter!!! The show was not bad wat dunno why ppl say not nice and it was boring. ????? all over haha!!! Ain't all movies bout the same too??? Well it was funny but a pity so many stuff was cut off. Not the same as the book. so sad. I dun mind sitting 3hours just to watch the whole thing if its the same as the book haha.

Something i just realized. All the series of harry potter i actually watch it with my mum even this one today. The first series i watched it wif my bro and mum, the 2nd one with my mum, as for the 3rd one, i actuaaly haf no memery of watching it at all!!! Someone must haf cast a spell on me and took it away from me haha. Anyway and even this 4th series i watch it wif my mum. OMG!!!! i better get a life though watching it wif my mum was not bad well coz part of it she is paying haha!!! Its like so sad i actually could not get anyone i would like to go wif to watch it. See how little frens i haf. But oh well I'm fussy in choosing frens so how can i complain!!! ONly ppl you feel comfortable wif and you trust than can call frens in my dictionary. Not everyone i know is call a fren or else this word fren as lost its meaning already. Dun you agree???

Oh well hope the 5th series i get to go with other ppl instead of my mum haha!!!

Wednesday pls come soon.........

Time Check: 3am



Tired of studying so writing a blog now. NOw in the process of my crush study of bioscience........ so sianz. Yesterday gif up already so went to see the doctor for my stupid, dun wanna recover cough. Took the medicine so now coughing not so bad like the last few days as if my lungs are ready to come up. Bad part is that everytime i take the medicine, i feel drowsy and wanna slp. HOW TO STUDY!!!!! Everytime i start to study mayb bout an hour only than i start to fall aslp. No matter how i try not to slp, in the end the medication took over my will power. Medication is a powerful drug. No wonder ppl die in the hands of drugs whether isit for gd or evil. haha crapping again.

Super sianz arh. Now only 1 person online but he also busy doing hw so dun wanna bother him which means no one to tok to. Sianz Sianz Sianz......... So many stuff to study haiz........ hope wednesday quickly come soon. and my nitemare will be over soon. than can relax abit and play haha than it will be back to do the finishing touch of my group's project. Still haben think how to make the presentation interesting and stuff. This lecturer kinda strict ( looking from the outside) but see how it goes bah coz there will be 2 grps doing it first next week and my grp is in the following week. Good chance for me to observed the lecturer expectations. haha!!! and steal some ideas from other grps and modify them as if its my idea like that. Me no creative person but good at modifying till its my idea haha evil me!!!

new song

Haha!! new background song again. Its jay chou and lara sing one. Shan Hu Hai. I can't believe i am actually listning to jay's song and loving it esp lang man shou ji. Wanted to put this song up instead but it was too big so put shan hu hai instead. my sencond fav song from jay's lastest album. Er..... well actually i only listening to this two songs coz saw the mtv and fell in love with it. Wat a first man!!! Me liking Jay's songs. haha!!

Anyway this week had clinical lab practical and theory test. Finally its over and i pass my practical. My elective question which was oral medication did super well haha 28/30. thats a high marks leh. if only i knew how to ans one of the question the tester ask than mayb i could have got full marks. Dressing was okie at least i passed it but dunno wat marks but i pass which was like very important coz i think my theory suck big time. mcq was ok except for one question coz read wrongly so the drug calculation was wrong ARGGGGGG hate it when i tink of it. 1 mark like that gone liao haiz........ SAQ kinda suck i think coz din really know wat they were asking for so was guessing away haha as usual. Anyway if my theory at least get a C than my overall marks for this term for clinical lab i can at least get a C and above bah which is like better than a D which i got from last term. so sad to see all the B+ and C+ than suddenly at the bottom a big D. Major shock!!!!

Next week got bio test and i am like taking my own sweet time to study. want to die!!! haha!!! well going to crush study as usualy for bio. Me and sci just dun click at all. cannot study too early or else by the time for test i would forget everything. Oh well looking forward to next wednesday too coz i would end at 12pm than can go watch Harry Potter liao!!! YEah!!!! wait so long liao. Most of my frens all gone to watch liao except me haiz... guess will be going alone as usual again. Lonely me!!! well i better get use to it since i wun really haf anyone to..................... .......................

Guess after my 1029 module ICA which is like 2 weeks later than will go out and do all those stuff i wanna do bah. Bengi should be on holiday liao so can call him out. ZQ i tink got ICAs and test too bah. Shermeen leh........ busy working so mayb call her out in the nite to go sing K. HOpefully by that time my cough is okie liao. I've been like coughing for one whole week liao. Juz dun wanna go see doctor. I think wait till i going to cough to death than go see bah!!!