thoughts!!

每当我想慢慢的忘记你, 你却又进入了我的世界.

sick...

haiz having a stupid flu. cough cough cough and sneeze sneeze sneeze. fever leh only come in the nite. Tuesday and wednesday got test but everytime take medicine i start to slp how to really study. ARG!!!!!!!!!! help me!!!!!! and here i am wasting time writing this blog haha how ironic!!!

THE ATTACK OF THE FLU BUGGIE!!!!!!!!!!

不想了

我喜欢的人,有喜欢的人了!! 决定不想了.祝他们幸福快乐. Why think of something that is never ever likely to happen. 反正已经习惯一个人了!!! 但是我比一般人幸福多了.因为我有亲情和一群好朋友!!!

So many test coming up and here i am still trying to forget. Guess i should go bury myself under my books!!! Anyway finish watch deveil beside you last monday i think. I totally like the main lead he junxiang. When i first saw him i was like he so familiar. So after some searching haha i remember he was the new host i saw fews yrs back in entertainment news. At that time i totally like him but coz of O levels or was it N levels so never watch E-news and stuff than forgot all bout it. Woo HOo. now can watch him act and stuff so gd. Think going to buy Love contract that show haha he so shuai!!! will upload his pic later when free!!!!!!!

Gone soon......

I'm emotionally unstable now at this point. I've so many things i wanna say but i can't. There are things i want to say to different ppl but i can't. I want to say my 真心话 also cannot. I think i better stop watching all those taiwan idol shows anymore esp those romance one or else i might break down sooner or later.

Why am I so weak now??? I really question myself. I use to be able to hide certain feelings but now i can't. I always have this 冲动 to say my 真心话. Isit coz i'm getting older or I'm getting naive??? I juz deleted one whole lot of stuff i wanted to say . guess its not really suitable to put it up. This question is like going throught my mind now. Am i really a nobody in other ppl eyes?? No one really bother to remember wat i say or wat they promise me. I always keep my promises to ppl but why other always treat me like a joke!!! Isit really so hard to just inform me?? Or isit i project myself as the dun care kind of person, a strong person who can deal every problem myself. After living 20 years ++ i'm now starting to haf a identity crisis. I'm now holding up so many information, so many emotions that i really want to unleash it. These few years of problem is weighing me down too much already.

When i wanna tok to someone bout something happy or wat just to relax, when i look around, there is no one that i can really tok to. Everyone around me seem to have found someone they can tok to, share with but i haben. I just haben found someone in klass that share my same interest or me sharing the same interest as others. I guess i never will. Guess it will be a lonely 3 years. I'm not really tokking anymore already in klass. Just dun have the urge to open up anymore. I dun want to put up all those pretenious laughter or smiles anymore.

I'm really tired.....................

All bout today!!!

TOday finally drove my dad's car and.................................. it was pretty good. haha. in less than 3 mins i manage to park the car and it was without poles ok!!! Really felt different coz it was a big car as compared to the school's car. The funniest thing that was my mum telling me no i should do this and that while driving. I had to like SHhhhhhhhhhh her so many times. at least she after that keep quiet coz she understand how its like for someone to keep saying this and that while driving. COz she been there be4.HAHAHA!!!

2 weeks or rather 1 week more than got clinical lab practical and theory tests. haiz damn scared man coz i hate to fail again. and i wanna do well too. I DUN WANNA a D liao in practical!!!! After that got bio science test and i like never study yet. somemore got 3 big chapters haiz.....

Change my background song again. I like this song alot coz it somehow reflects how i feel recently.

dunno wat to say already!!!! got to study.....................

烦死了!!!

我好像喜欢上他了!! 我好像喜欢上一个不能爱的人! 我能爱他吗?? 烦死了! 第一次真 的喜欢一个人.....会有结果吗? 我想太多了!! Only the blind would like me for who i am bah!!!

Sick........

Yesterday had to take panadol before i could sleep. I've been so worried and tired out from all the drving lessons after long hours of school that i finaly broke down feeling sick last nite. Today in klass i could not even concentrate and was like sleeping in lectures. mental and emotional breakdown. This tiredness was worst than attachment. it was like 50% worst. I totally break down after i came home from sch. just had to sleep.

Actually still cannot believe i actually pass. After failing twice i was on the verge of giving up trying already. Guess i put too much pressure on myself. Everytime i fail i dunno how to face my parents coz the fees are so high and failing means more money have to go out to the driving center. STRESS!!! but its all over already.

When any interesting happened today........... erm......... nothing much beside one of my klassmate got scolded by one of the lecturer looking at a photo in her klass. yeah my klassmate was wrong to look at the photo during klass but i guess the lecturer din handle the problem rationally still treating is like little kids. not gifing us face at all by scolding her in front of the whole lecture grp of 100 over ppl. We ain't kids anymore!!

Today i realize that the germaine ( that stupid gal) has a totally wrong concept of nursing in terms of patients dying. Our lecturer was tokking bout her experience bout how she counsel one student bout seeing patient dying coz it seem that this particular student was very upset over it. Well this lecturer( btw its the same lecturer i'm tokking bout above) commented that after the patient die, wat we nurses can do is by showing the'body' respect, clean up and dress the person properly so that the family and take a last good look at their loved one. This i totally agree with her coz we cannot control the death of anyone so we should do our best to help them look gd so as to gif the family members a piece of mind that he/she has gone away in peace. But that germaine was like this lecturer was bullshitting and stuff. She think she is god arh can control ppl birth and death meh. sometime i'm so amuse how she thinks and look at stuff. So childish and not rational at all. or mayb i've a totally different frequency on how 17yrs old teenagers look at stuff. Although i dun like her but she is so entertaining that it just so fun to watch how she handle problems and stuff. Haha sound so mean!!

Well its a long entry today. juz took medicine so dozing off soon!!!! take care ppl!! next time drive you guys around but muz sign a form that if anything happen i dun haf to be responsible for anything haha!!!!!! me can be a dangerous drive at times so beware and ride at your own risk!!!

a ride anyone???

I passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed i passed


AND I PASSED!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!

3RD ATTEMPT AND FINALLY I PASSED AND GOT MY DRIVING LICENSE!! YIPPIE SO HAPPY!!!

I was so worried that i couldn't slp well, feeling sick, headache, coundn't not even finish my lunch. Wah first time leh left so much food that my fren had to help me eat up my fries.

Oh watever at least i pass !!!!!!!!!!!

Wah so tired now but still haf so much work to do.............. BYez..............

Thought of the Day!!

Instead of letting fate decide your path,
Why not look for fate and control your own destiny with your heart.
The heart that will lead you to the happiness you've been longing for.

reality hit

Okay i think i have been around with too many nice ppl that reality hit me awake once again. TODAY!!! Well today had tennis lessons as usual than one of the ball was hit out to the basketball court by my friend so i went to the fence there to ask those basketball ppl to help get the ball back. ohya the tennis court is at a higher ground i think bout one storey higher than the basketball court. When i was at the court i call out to the guys there but none even bothered to response. i called out a few times and still no response till one of the guy who was on the phone heard me and walk over and ask wat help i needed. FINALLY!!!!!!

Here comes the part that reality arrived before my eyes. Well again the ball went out so me and sarah went over to ask those ppl to get the ball. Well i ask sarah to go ask them instead knowing that those guys there sure will response to her immediately and true enough it did. Its like wat the hack man!!! Ya sarah is like tall and slim and look above average and stuff but those ppl there also haf to see how one looks like than help them meh. As if they all very gd looking like that. The guy on the phone was like even better looking than most of them there. I guess the best part was after they threw the ball over than they try to find out sarah's name but sarah can't even be bothered with them and gave them the back off look. Lusty toad trying to have swan meat. HAHA!!!

Another thing happening around me today was like crazy. After tennis i went out for a while and everywhere around me were couples. In the bus, In the Mrt, In the Lrt. OMG today its not V.dae or wat. They were like all around and some were even acting lovey dovey and stuff.

ITS CRAZY!!!!

In my brain i was like pls do ur lovey dovey elsewhere and spare this poor gal sitting opposite who will never find such happiness like you guys.

Today is really a reality check day!!!!!!!!!