WHY???????????

The atmosphere at home is really bad since yesterday. THis year is really a bad year for my family. one after another. One closing soon and got another problem How can do this to my family?? Nobody own you anything why must do this to us?? Why never even use that brain of urs to think?? Feel so drained out by what is all going on. Really dun feel like staying or going home anymore. Dun like the feeling of being at home. For me to say this is really bad coz i always like staying at home.

Today reach home really can feel how my parents are feeling and how hard it is for them esp day trying to make things seem ok by still joking around with my bros and me but i can still feel it how hard isit for them. Why must all these kind of things happen to my family. My bro wrote in his blog its God testing and moulding and etc but even it is that time why must allow my parents to go thru it. if really want to test and mould i rather all the bad things happen to me than to my parents. they already old liao. Few months back when i look at my mum i suddenly feel that she really aged alot.

When things really happen i really hope i can take it and face it as i am trying to tell myself. All these pride, face thing is all nothing coz we all haf a clear conscience. that is wat is impt. why even bother how other ppl think coz in the beginning they dunno wat is going on and how we are implicated to it for no reason.

I guess its really going to get tougher and tougher esp in Jan. I used to have everything i want in the past. Even now no more already but i dun need those anymore but my family to be ok. the rest not impt anymore.

Feeling emotionally drained already. So much in my mind that i cannot even slp well and with so much ICAs to prepare, test and soon exam that has no study break at all. What else bad is going to befall????????? I really wonder. the future now seem so beak???